Cuba Chronicles About This Blog: Cuba 2006: General: Parenting: Pop Culture: Recipes: Videos:

The Nightmare Category

We're going to a wedding next month - and I don't have a thing to wear. Apparently the dress code at this shindig is "casual" but how casual can a wedding be? Redman was going to wear a suit but was told not to - and he kept saying to me "why do you want to dress up?" I said, because I don't think it's appropriate to go to a wedding in a T-shirt & slacks, and what else do I have? Guys get off easy — they can get away with wearing a nice Hawaiian shirt & dockers to something like this (apparently that's what the groom is wearing...) but no matter how you slice it, a lady has to wear, if not a dress, at least something "dressy" enough that it doesn't look like she's going to the grocery store.

To quote "Cathy" - "Dressy-Casual - the Nightmare Category."

I shopped with the help of a good friend for a nice summery dress but no joy. Lots to try on, nothing that looked good. The one thing that did sort-of fit and was almost flattering came in a decidedly glum-looking maroon and black print. Not quite the fresh summery look I was after.

AdditionElle was one place that looked promising until I realized the smallest size they seem to have is an 18 - and a pretty generous one at that - but with all the fashion flare you usually find in styles for the larger woman. (Mumu, anyone?) And TanJay - occasionally they have something smart - but unless you like elastic waitbands, forget it. Just because I have gray hair doesn't mean I have to start dressing like my grandmother.

I also had capri pants suggested to me - but in my opinion they don't do anything for anybody. With a pant length that always seems to end at the widest part of the calf, and a cut designed to make even the most willowy woman look short and dumpy, why are these such a popular look?

I actually went into a couple of stores that had Size 0 - who wears that, besides Calista Flockhart? I had read somewhere that they were making clothing sizes bigger - eg. 8 is now supposed to be what 12 used to be - so that women would feel better about their size but I think the opposite is true in some of these stores. I look at these skinny little smug teenagers and I think - just you wait - you are getting older by the second and unless you plan not to eat for the rest of your life, one day you'll be a size 18 just like me...

Gave up on finding a dress, decided to use a fuchsia blouse I bought at Winners for $15 a few days before my dress shopping excursion as a jacket and find a skirt and a white tank to wear under the blouse. Found a bead-embellished white tank at Costco - $12 - and after trying on umpteen skirts (the skirt hunt was as depressing as the dress hunt) I ended up with a horribly overpriced B&W sort-of-polka-dot Liz Claibourne number at the Bay for $89!!! It was the only one I tried on that was not too long, too short, too skimpy around the hips and did not "suck in" under my abdominal fat. I didn't look at the price tag until after I decided it was (almost) perfect. Now I just need a pair of shoes and maybe a new belt — I'm thinking something wide in white to cinch my waist. (And maybe a pair of Spanx.)

 

Filed under General, Jun 3, 2008
 

bar

Comments on this post:

There is no such thing as casual at such an important event. Capris? No way.

Now I'm a guy, but my rule about about dress at weddings and funerals always is: wear a suit. Pants, jacket, tie and vest. You can always lose the vest. A black jacket is good, since it can pass for a dinner jacket in a pinch, and men always look good in a dinner jacket. Think James Bond.

No sane person ever berates a guy for coming overdressed unless we're catching trout or going to war. In fact there is a certain amount of social mileage one can get from dropping the jacket on a chair, loosening up the tie and top button and heading to the dancefloor. It says: this is a gentleman who is not afraid to party.

As for girls, I'm partial to dresses, but if you are at an event where they plan to play Def Leppard for the first dance... Jacket, Blouse, Skirt and a proper set of shoes.

Comment by cobolhacker - 2008-06-15 10:39:50

 
bar

Leave a comment

Comments will not be published until reviewed by the site owner. Some HTML is allowed - no more that TWO weblinks or the comment will be blocked.
Obvious link spamming comments will not be approved. So, to all you people who keep leaving comments with multiple links to casino websites, travel sites, ringtones and so forth, posting them here is a complete and utter waste of your time. Like, can you read English, even? Why do you keep leaving your stupid coments here?

Name
Email (will not be published)
Website (optional)

What I'm Reading
Middlemarch
by George Elliott

Where I Go wilwheaton dot net Big Pink Cookie cobolhacker.com Dooce flagrantdisregard flickr.com International Metropolis Internet Movie Database Marie Wise, Artist Marie's Art Journey PHP.net Presstube rotten dot com Scout's Swag The Sneeze Wil Wheaton In Exile Yarn Harlot

What I've Been Shooting

     
     

Blog Manager

NEXT ENTRY: A Week in My World - Added on Jun 11/2008