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Pop-Culture Retard

If "retard" means to slow or to hinder, then I am definitely retarded when it comes to popular culture. I love movies and look forward to seeing the ones that catch my interest, when I see them advertised but it's usually a loooong wait for me from the time I hear about something until I actually get to see it. There are some movies I've been wanting to see which I have NEVER seen - since we won't go to the theatre - too expensive, too annoying and too uncomfortable -  I have to wait until stuff comes out on DVD. That is if I manage to actually hear that a film is out on DVD.

Case in point? Tim Burton's Sweeney Todd - an absolute must-see for me because I'm a Tim Burton freak AND a Johnny Depp fan - plus a bit of  a freak over over just about anyone in Gothy makeup - but have I seen it yet? I have not.

Just today I discover the DVD came out last month. I have not seen it on sale anywhere. I have not been hiding in the closet for the past month. I have been out in the world, shopping and participating. I watch TV. I listen to the radio. Apparently no one thought the release of the Special Edition 2-DVD boxed set of Sweeney Todd was newsworthy. In order to find out if it was available, I had to google it.

Redman thoughtfully looked it up on The Beat Goes On's website today - apparently someone else has bought it and either didn't like it or has already made copies - and it's mine, delivered to my door for under $25. Now I just have to wait another few days to see it.

I still have to look around for Lars and the Real Girl (I think that came out, like what, last summer?) and it will be some time before I see Tropic Thunder, The Dark Knight, Ironman, Bottle Shock, Hamlet 2 or anything else that came out in the last couple of months. 

Filed under Pop Culture, Aug 20, 2008
 

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A Week in My World

Been working on a project for one of my clients that involves sending out a daily events calendar to their members (mostly hotels, restaurants & B&B's.) I think we finally finished it up yesterday but it only took several weeks to get over all the hurdles. Of course once it's in regular use I'm sure there will be lots of "issues" to work out – there always are when you're dealing with an organization with over 200 cranky members.

The concept was relatively simple - someone in their office selects the desired date or date range from a form in the admin section of the website and a more or less random and truncated selection of the day's events and attractions are pulled from the database, presented nicely in a printer-friendly format and sent out to the member mailing list. Then they can print one off and post it somewhere for their guests.

Problem #1 was although we CAN send mass mailings direct from the website it a.) takes time and b.) as often as not gets trapped as spam. Normally for member and consumer mailings they use a third party offering called Constant Contact. Not feasible here.

The web host solved the problem by telling us about something called Mailman that was already available as part of the hosting package. All we have to do is send one email to the mailing list's address and it sends it out to all the subscribers, with all the right anti-spam headers. Brilliant.

Except it doesn't work.

Problem #2 turns out to be that any email address on the website's domain gets sent to an exchange server. So it's never reaching Mailman and ending up in cyber limbo. Boo.  Wait a week or so until their IT department gets back to us. Wait another 2 weeks after we find out the company that does their IT has changed hands and NO ONE THERE knows anything about the freaking exchange server.

Finally it's decided we'll just create another domain and set up an email address and Mailman on that account. Test with the new address - yay, it works.  Except ...

Problem #3  - I discover I can't send HTML formatted email from the web server to the mailing list, although the tests from my computer's server work fine. Anything that comes through just looks like raw HTML code.

Back to the drawing board. Decide to send it out as plain text with a link to the pretty HTML formatted one on the website. Trouble is - the events are selected RANDOMLY which means the list sent out in the email may not match the ones on the website - and for some reason this is seen as a problem. End up sending the link as a long complicated URL with a long list of variables in it in order to get the same list. Yikes!!! Half the time the URL gets broken in the mailing and does not work. Grrr.

In the midst of this, the Biggest Tourist Draw in the City decides it wants it's day's performances included with the events. Problem is, they won't give us a way to do that. No database, no XML file, will not enter them on our site, nothing. After waiting for two weeks for them to come up with something I decide to take matters into my own hands and figure out a way for a script to read in the raw html code for their monthly calendar from their website, search through the string of gibberish to find the right date, find the performances and times for that date, translate them into English from the truncated version that appears in the calendar, consult an array of play titles and theatres to find where it's being shown, and display them. And three hours of programming later, it actually works! I feel extremely clever.

Yesterday - finally - they send a spreadsheet of their performances so I decide to use that instead. Set up a data table and all is well. More reliable since the other method all depends on their website being "up", plus it is a bit slow.

Also, after asking the web host what was up with not sending HTML-formatted emails, one of their tech guys plays around with my script and adds a few extra end-of-line characters after the mime parts. (yeah, I didn't understand it either.) Suddenly it works. Back to the pretty version, out with the plain text version. I think we're in business.

Now I wait for the inevitable complaints - why wasn't such-and-such event shown on a particular day?

This is what I do for a living.

Filed under General, Jun 11, 2008
 

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The Nightmare Category

We're going to a wedding next month - and I don't have a thing to wear. Apparently the dress code at this shindig is "casual" but how casual can a wedding be? Redman was going to wear a suit but was told not to - and he kept saying to me "why do you want to dress up?" I said, because I don't think it's appropriate to go to a wedding in a T-shirt & slacks, and what else do I have? Guys get off easy — they can get away with wearing a nice Hawaiian shirt & dockers to something like this (apparently that's what the groom is wearing...) but no matter how you slice it, a lady has to wear, if not a dress, at least something "dressy" enough that it doesn't look like she's going to the grocery store.

To quote "Cathy" - "Dressy-Casual - the Nightmare Category."

I shopped with the help of a good friend for a nice summery dress but no joy. Lots to try on, nothing that looked good. The one thing that did sort-of fit and was almost flattering came in a decidedly glum-looking maroon and black print. Not quite the fresh summery look I was after.

AdditionElle was one place that looked promising until I realized the smallest size they seem to have is an 18 - and a pretty generous one at that - but with all the fashion flare you usually find in styles for the larger woman. (Mumu, anyone?) And TanJay - occasionally they have something smart - but unless you like elastic waitbands, forget it. Just because I have gray hair doesn't mean I have to start dressing like my grandmother.

I also had capri pants suggested to me - but in my opinion they don't do anything for anybody. With a pant length that always seems to end at the widest part of the calf, and a cut designed to make even the most willowy woman look short and dumpy, why are these such a popular look?

I actually went into a couple of stores that had Size 0 - who wears that, besides Calista Flockhart? I had read somewhere that they were making clothing sizes bigger - eg. 8 is now supposed to be what 12 used to be - so that women would feel better about their size but I think the opposite is true in some of these stores. I look at these skinny little smug teenagers and I think - just you wait - you are getting older by the second and unless you plan not to eat for the rest of your life, one day you'll be a size 18 just like me...

Gave up on finding a dress, decided to use a fuchsia blouse I bought at Winners for $15 a few days before my dress shopping excursion as a jacket and find a skirt and a white tank to wear under the blouse. Found a bead-embellished white tank at Costco - $12 - and after trying on umpteen skirts (the skirt hunt was as depressing as the dress hunt) I ended up with a horribly overpriced B&W sort-of-polka-dot Liz Claibourne number at the Bay for $89!!! It was the only one I tried on that was not too long, too short, too skimpy around the hips and did not "suck in" under my abdominal fat. I didn't look at the price tag until after I decided it was (almost) perfect. Now I just need a pair of shoes and maybe a new belt — I'm thinking something wide in white to cinch my waist. (And maybe a pair of Spanx.)

 

Filed under General, Jun 3, 2008
 

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The Not-so-Incredible Hulk

I've been a little confiused lately by television ads for the new Incredible Hulk movie. I mean, didn't Ang Lee make Hulk, like, 5 years ago? Seems to me they even parodied it on Robot Chicken. And now there's a new one with Edward Norton as Bruce Banner with memorable lines such as "I have trouble controlling certain aspects of my personality" (Tyler Durden, anyone?) My first thought was that is was a sequel but then I read that THIS version is made by Marvel Comics as a tie-in wth Iron Man. With a different cast director & pretty much an entirely new origin story it seems not like a sequel but a re-make, and this has gotta be a record for re-make turnaround — 5 years! So my confusion stems from - if this isn't a sequel, why make a new Hulk movie so soon? Is anyone actually going to go see this? (Answer - of course they will — moviegoers are sheep.) OK, so it's NOT a remake — it's a "New Interpretation".

Popular opinion has it the first version sucked out loud but I had never seen it, until they showed it Saturday night on Space - sponsored by the NEW Hulk movie. OK, now I'm doubly confused. So, what, they're using the old version to promote the new version by showing us how bad it was?

It wasn't that terrible, but perhaps a bit more thought-provoking than the usual fan-boy might want or expect, but I confess I was too tired to watch the whole thing - it was on past my bedtime, after all. The casting was pretty good - I found Nick Nolte's turn as Banner's father kind of interesting - and the CGI was adequate (better than the first Harry Potter flick, anyway.) Ang Lee was a pretty off-beat choice to direct it. It DID have the Marvel Stamp Of Approval - and Stan Lee even had a cameo in it. So what's with the revisionism on Marvel's part?

Because Robert Downey Jr. has an appearance in it as Tony Stark I'm guessing cross- promotional tie-in to Iron Man, but the Iron Man movie is made by a different production company. (The Incredible Hulk is made by Marvel Enterprises, Iron Man by Dark Blade Films.) Anyway, I'll likely wait until this one comes out on TV, but I think I might buy/watch Iron Man when it comes out on DVD.

But the whole thing just serves to point out how Hollywood has more money to throw around making pointless dumb-ass movies than is humanly imaginable. Myself, I'd rather see more movies like Fargo or The Darjeeling Limited.

Filed under Pop Culture, Jun 2, 2008
 

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How does Bell get away with it?

I'm sure it's something most people don't notice, but Bell Canada routinely adds a penny to the GST and PST amounts shown on your monthly phone bill.

If you don't believe it, get out your calculator and take a good look at your last phone bill. Look at the totals and figure out what the tax should be and then look at what Bell charged you. Off by one cent in their favour, isn't it?

I've noticed this every time I put my business phone bill into my accounting program - I ALWAYS have to adjust the tax amount to make it add up to the same figure Bell shows me or my payment will be off by a couple of cents - and you can bet they will ask me for it. Trouble is, my payments are automaticallly deducted from my bank account (Middle-Aged-A.D.D. insurance) so witholding the extra isn't even an option.

Although it may only be a penny or two to you, over the course of a year this adds up to 24 cents per customer. Again, not much to worry about. But multiply this by the number of customers Bell must have, and you start to see a much bigger figure.The 2001 census says there were 11,562,975 households in Canada. If we assume each of them has one Bell Canada account, (and this isn't even counting businesses, you understand) and each of them overpays 2 cents a month in taxes on their phone bill, this amounts to a whopping $2,775,114 a year in extra revenue for Bell.

This has been going on for a long time so the accumulated amount must be staggering. I'm sure Bell is only remitting to the government what they need to remit and not what they actually collect, so this is just extra profit for them.

I know if I charged more tax than I should be to my customers, someone would complain about it. Why isn't anyone doing anything about this?

Filed under General, Mar 17, 2008
 

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What I'm Reading
Middlemarch
by George Elliott

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